In conversation with Indian model and illustrator Namita Sunil 🌞 In 2019 she graced the cover of Elle Magazine and last April she illustrated her first ever cover for Grazia India, here’s what you missed 🌻

Addy: Namita, thank you so much for joining me! How did you first get into illustration?

Namita: Well, I've been drawing ever since I was a kid, more or less. I feel like almost every illustrator starts from there. It just became an extension of my personality. When I was younger we would ask each other "Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?" everybody was like, "Oh, Namita is going to be an artist" and that's kind of what ended up happening. Even though I had a million other career aspirations in between, in-fact I actually studied fashion design, but I quickly realised that "Okay, I actually really don't like this at all." It turns out that I actually liked drawing the dresses, not making them.

Once I graduated, it took me a while to actually accept that illustration was something that I wanted to do, because the industry here in India is not given as much importance as it is in other countries. I thought, "Okay, do I really want to do this? Am I really that passionate about it?" But honestly, the pandemic, and all of the time that we had last year, really cemented it as something that I want to pursue.

Addy: Amazing. Did you study fashion design in India?

Namita: I did, yes. I knew that I wanted to spend more time in India before exploring other opportunities abroad. Honestly, the more time I spend here, the more I feel like I'm going to end up staying. I didn’t grow up very traditional, there's this obsession in India with becoming more white. The more time I spend in India, the more I just want to really connect with the culture and observe what it is around me that makes me feel so at home. I feel like as an Indian person I'm still learning. I only speak English, I actually don't speak my native language.

Addy: Omg really?

Namita: Yes, it's wild because we are just so conditioned to believe that the whiter you are, the more successful you will be. I feel like I'm really going off on a tangent here. (laughs)

Addy: Not at all! That’s actually linked to the next question.

Namita: Okay, that’s good. (laughs)

Addy: So you were born and raised in India?

Namita: Yes, I was born and raised in Cochin, which is in southern India, but right now I'm settled in New Delhi. 

Addy: How has your experience with your culture shaped the art that you create? 

Namita: I would say that it's shaped it in the sense that my art right now is trying to reconnect with my roots. I’m slowly getting there. I'm at a very early stage as an artist honestly. I still wouldn't say that I have found my style or my voice and I'm trying to figure out what it is exactly that makes my work me. I know that there's definitely a direction that I want to take, it’s just about really finding out what that is, this idea of “Indianness”. I noticed for example that my work has a lot of greens, a lot of warmth, a lot of brown women, which is what I've grown up with. It's never anything that I consciously set out to draw, it's just innately in me.

I'm trying to find these links so that I can confidently say, "This is Namita. This is my Indianness. This is the direction that I want my work to take and let's see how that goes." I feel like a lot of work that you see on my Instagram right now is very skill-based, in the sense that, “Okay, let's see how quickly I can draw this, let's see if I can make a new drawing every day." I haven't reached that point yet where I feel like I know what I want to put out into the world. You've caught me at a very baby stage.

Addy: I think that's quite exciting, because you’re at a stage where you can experiment with different art forms, different mediums and find what you love, but also what you feel is your strength.

Namita: Yes, it's exciting and also quite terrifying because you think to yourself, “Oh, everybody else has got it figured out, why haven't I reached there yet?” But it's all a journey.

Addy: It can take years to feel like you've found your own voice and style, and there are so many amazing artists who never truly feel confident in what they're doing, even though everyone loves their work. I think it's so natural to feel that way.

Namita: Yes, exactly.

Addy: A lot of your illustrations are self-portraits, why is it important to you to depict yourself?

Namita: It's the face that I'm most familiar with. I love faces. I love brown women, and this is the face that I've grown up with. It's familiar, it's home and I know that every time I draw my face, something new is going to come out of it. It's been affirming, especially for someone who didn't like the fact that she was a brown girl for so long, and wanted to be someone completely different, and now is closer to finding out who she is in her own space and in her own art as well.

Addy: Totally, the idea of cultivating self-love through art-making. That's really powerful, I love that!

Namita: These are really good questions, I've never thought about this.

(laughter)

Addy: Thanks! Okay, so as well as being an illustrator, you’re also a model. Do you view modelling as an art form, kind of like performance or storytelling?

Namita: For sure, I have so much respect for the craft. I’ve been obsessed ever since the ninth grade. When I was younger, I had my own insecurities. [At the time] there was only one form of beauty portrayed in India, [the women] were always fairer skinned and they didn't look anything like me. I would see girls who looked more like me on FTV, it made me feel good that there were girls like me out there.

When it comes to modelling, I’m just amazed at how you can turn yourself into a canvas and portray a story which just a single look. I love the collaborative process, the relationship between a model and a photographer especially, the rhythm that you have and the ideas that both of you have in your mind and work together to achieve. Also, I’m usually very awkward as a person. I'm really bad at dancing and I'm not very confident with my body, but as a model you have to be able to mould yourself in a certain way. I have a lot of respect for that. I feel like you learn something new on set every day as well. It's fantastic.

Addy: Amazing. The shoots you’ve done are so good.

Namita: Thank you. (laughs) I've done some really nice shoots. That's why I like the collaborative process. The image itself is of me, but then, all of the different ideas come together to create that. There's so much work that goes into it. I love seeing that.

Addy: That's really cool. Let's talk about colourism within the fashion industry, and how you feel your presence in fashion and photography is challenging this.

Namita: This is something I think about often because there are some days where I'm glad that as a brown girl, I am Indian and I’ve made an impact. But then, I also know that there's so much more work to be done, because there's still a certain kind of brown girl that's a model right now. Even if there is diversity in the industry, it's a very perfect kind of diversity, and that shows up in everything. Even in the girls I draw, they look a certain way. I really want to remedy that in my art. I would love to see changes like that happening in the industry, for sure. I'm part of an agency, and thankfully, I'm very close to my agent.

I'm hoping to be more active in the kind of representation that I do want to see. Reach out to models who aren’t, I don't even want to say conventional models, because even that in itself is just like, “Who decides that?” There's just a lot more work to be done. Even if there are a lot of brown models, in the end, India still favours a certain skin tone. That's going to take a long time to dismantle. I feel like a few years ago, I wouldn't have been able to model. Things are changing, which is good.

Addy: Do you feel like it would be easier to book different projects if your skin were lighter?

Namita: I feel like me being brown-skinned has given me jobs that a lot of fairer-skinned models wouldn't get, I would just maybe get more commercial work. Right now, as a brown girl with curly hair, I get cast for a certain look, the more abstract shoot or the more high fashion shoot. But the fairer-skinned, more conventionally pretty models would get an ad or a role in a TV show that's going to get so much more publicity. I'll get work, but not that kind of work.

Addy: So like more mainstream or commercial roles selling products?

Namita: Exactly.

Addy: Whereas you tend to do more art and high fashion shoots, which by the way are really cool. 

Namita: Yes, which is fun. I love those projects, but then again, it's just the amount of eyes that really have access to that work.

Addy: Definitely. How has your art evolved since you first began drawing?

Namita: My early work was a lot of, honestly, copying. In the sense that I would look at a cartoon and I would just draw all of the girls over and over and over. I would draw realistic portraits, but then I really started to think about what I wanted to say. I realised that it's not always about technical skill. “Why are you really drawing?” I kept asking myself. Of course, I have my insecurities and end up comparing myself to other illustrators. But I think I'm gaining more confidence. I'm getting closer to the message that I want to convey beyond skill. There's been a huge shift in the way that I think about illustration.

I honestly feel like the work that is going to come out now is going to look super different. I don't have a style yet, and honestly, I'm just beginning to embrace that. I think it's the bravery. I've just gotten much braver with my work, more than anything.

Addy: Do you feel like initially you were learning and figuring out how to depict things, and now that you've got more of a grasp, you're like, “Okay, I can express myself now, I know that I can do it.”

Namita: Yes, and I feel sad that I thought I had to reach a certain level of skill before I could do that, because in the end, ideas are ideas. I was obsessed with making things look pretty. Now I've relaxed a bit, and I'm in a much better space.

Addy: Amazing. I think it’s part of being a perfectionist. That constant feeling that everything needs to look right.

Namita: Exactly, and it's so counterproductive because then you never get anything done. It's just a huge lie. I keep telling this to myself all the time.

Addy: I feel the same way about writing. There’s this constant internal battle where I’m striving for perfection, which is impossible. 

Namita: Exactly.

Addy: What do you find the most difficult about creating art?

Namita: Imposter syndrome and anxiety in general. A lot of the time, if I’m not happy with the work that I’m making, I end up really connecting that to who I am. Like, “Oh my God, this thing that I drew is shit. Therefore, I am shit.” I think that’s what I’ve struggled with the most as an artist. I've been trying to work on that because in the end, I’m doing this because I enjoy it, and I can't lose sight of that. What's the point otherwise?

Addy: Totally. It's so hard to unlearn those ideas. Even though you know they’re not true, it's easy to see your mistakes as a reflection of yourself. Who and what are your greatest influences?

Namita: I love New Sincerity literature. Writers like Zadie Smith and David Foster Wallace. I write as well, I really like to write, in fact, and I often write these little tidbits. The work that I really want to make is more cinematic. I want to learn to animate and make little short films and things like that. As an artist, I feel like the best ideas are born from really great literature. What I love about New Sincerity is how slice-of-life it is and how even if they’re writing about drinking a cup of tea, the way that they write about it is just so beautiful. You feel like you're there in that moment.

There’s so much beauty in the banal, I think that really inspires me as an illustrator. I don't know how to explain it, beautiful literature just really moves me. I don't watch anything on Netflix, I like to read more. It's really sad because I feel like a lot of artists have a very great visual library that they often draw from, cool shows that have come out, and I never do that. I have no interest in that, but I love reading, even re-reading books. I love seeing how much I can dissect a particular emotion, and how can I depict that in an illustration. Then I like to think about how I can make something completely new out of that. Again, I’m at the very nascent stage. It's going to take a long time for me to get there, but that's what is at the core of all of this, just being able to say that this is life right now.

Addy: That's really cool. I feel like there are certain books that I've read, and it feels like I’ve lived that story. Do you know what I mean?

Namita: Yes, totally. 

Addy: It’s really interesting that you draw from literature. That must be quite difficult sometimes because you have to lift the image out of the text without a visual prompt.

Namita: Exactly.

Addy: What advice would you give to your younger self?

Namita: Honestly, everything. I could write a whole book of advice to give myself. I feel like she would have really liked it. I wouldn’t want to say things like, "Oh, don't worry, just chill." I know I will end up worrying, that's who I am. I don't even want to say anything like, “You’ll be fine, just build your self-esteem." How can you tell that to someone and how can they really imbibe it? I think I would just tell her to read more. I can't believe that's the first thing that came to my head but honestly, read more. And just be aware that other people exist. I got really caught up in my own problems and my own sadnesses and I feel like I missed out on understanding that there's more to it than this, and there's so much more to explore.

I would also say, yes, you have a lot of sadness right now and it's okay to stew in that sadness, that sadness will be there, but there's also an equal amount of happiness and beauty around you. You can experience one thing and another thing at the same time. Read more, listen to music more, and on the days you cry, I hope that you will have days to laugh as well. You're going to be stuck in your hometown because you're going to school, but see as much of the world as you can, even if it’s through your screen. Just expose yourself and you'll realise that things aren't so bad.

Addy: Beautiful. That's really good advice. When I think about my younger self, I'm like, “Don't feel so insecure about everything, you're probably not as bad at all these things as you think you are, just have fun with it."

Namita: I know, same here, I would say that too. I feel like I would have learned how to dance by now if I’d danced more when I was younger. I wouldn't have to model to really feel body movements. But it's cool, it gave me a modelling career, it's fine.

Addy: Awkward dancing is the new cool dancing. (you heard it here first)

Namita: (laughs) I guess we're seeing it everywhere. I want to dance more though, that’s a 2021 resolution for me. I really want to dance more. 

Addy: What kind of dancing? Like TikTok dances?

Namita: (laughs) I guess, because that's the kind of dancing I've been seeing lately. I think I'll end up only doing really dramatic TikTok dances and honestly, why not? It will help me move. I've been dancing to a lot of Doja Cat, in fact, during the pandemic. I just shake my ass in my room and have a great time. (we stan) That’s really fun, but then I just can't seem to do it in front of other people, unless I get really drunk. Do you dance?

Addy: Not very well.

Namita: Any kind of dance?

Addy: I learned a TikTok dance and like half of a K-pop dance. But I wouldn't say I'm a dancer. (laughs)

Namita: Same, I can do this (waves her hands in the air) at a rave and feel like I'm blending in.

Addy: Iconic. Last question! What's next for you?

Namita: This is going to sound boring, but I want to try and get a job this year. Something in a creative space, just to learn how I function in a team. I like the collaborative space of modelling, so I want to see if I can bring that to other areas as well. I also just want to get my ideas out there more, my writing and my stories. I want to learn how to get better at the business side of art, because it's great being an artist, but you also need to learn how to make an invoice.

Art-wise, I'm very excited this year for my art because I feel like I've gotten braver with it. I'm going to be drawing a lot more and modelling a lot more. I’m not setting myself a humongous goal. It's simple and short.

Addy: Exciting! It's nicer to have fewer goals because you're more likely to achieve them.

Namita: Yes, it's less daunting.

Addy: Rather than a long list where it's like “I want to learn French this year”

Namita: That was actually on my to-do list two years ago. I haven't learned French (laughs), so yes.

Addy: That's okay! I love what you said about learning more about the business side of art. Nobody really teaches artists how to make sure that they're not being taken advantage of within the industry. Learning how to price your works and just learning more about the commercial side of things is so important.

Namita: Exactly and that's wild. I spent four years in fashion design college and they didn’t teach us about the world of work, what did they think we were going to do? I'm lucky enough to model, a few days of work is enough for me to survive for the rest of the month. Imagine if I didn't have that as an option, I wouldn't have been able to work on my art. It's just disappointing that I felt so unprepared after graduating college, honestly.

Addy: For sure. There needs to be more information about the realities of working in the arts, especially now with the pandemic. It’s great that you want to learn a bit more about that side of things, but also continue to be creative.

Namita: I wouldn't be able to live without art. Let's see how the business side goes, I'm super terrified (laughs).

Addy: Omg don’t be! Okay, so at the end of the interviews, I like to do something called a rapid fire round 🔥🔥

Namita: I've read your interviews, let's do it.

(laughter)

Addy: Painting or sculpture?

Namita: Painting.

Addy: Abstract or figurative works?

Namita: Abstract. Even though I do more figurative, abstract, yes.

Addy: Normcore or VSCO?

Namita: That's really hard. Shit, oh no (laughs). I’ll go for normcore even though I'm actually not normcore. I was normcore last year, in fact (laughs).

Addy: I feel like I'm a bit basic, so I’m definitely more VSCO. (laughs) Oceans or mountains?

Namita: Mountains.

Addy: Tulips or sunflowers?

Namita: Sunflowers.

Addy: Doc Martens or Adidas Superstars?

Namita: Doc Martens. This is so fun. I love these questions.

Addy: Yesss, you can wear them with anything. Favourite book?

Namita: That’s so tough. On Beauty by Zadie Smith, have you read it?

Addy: I haven’t!

Namita: It's so good.

Addy: Cool, I’ll add that to my list! Next question, how long does it take you to get ready?

Namita: I need an hour, a good full hour is enough for me. That’s not too bad. (laughs)

Addy: Omg, that’s so fine. What is the last song that you listened to?

Namita: Probably Small Car, Big Wheels by Enjoy.

Addy: A whole vibe. Namita, thank you so much for taking the time to sit for an interview. This was so much fun, I'm really excited to see what you do next!

Namita: Thank you for this. You've interviewed some really cool artists. It's really cool to be a part of this.

For more from the lovely Namita, check out her Vogue feature here!